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One of the moments that was a big rock moment for me, was while we were at Punda Maria in the Kruger National Park. We were going through the Day 03 declaration from our declaration booklets with Pastor Christi in the morning. After we went through the declaration, Pastor John focused on a phrase from Ephesians 4:15-22, one of the scriptures we read.
The phrase that Pastor John paused on was: This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind…
He took a moment to ask us about what the futility of their mind means to us. While a few other people were sharing what it means to them, the Holy Spirit gave me a beautiful image of what the futility of the mind is and what it had been in my life.
The Holy Spirit gave me an image of a cat chasing after a laser beam. The cat will put in all of his efforts and focus in his life to try and catch the laser beam. However, when he eventually manages to put his paws over that little red dot which had been controlling his whole world, there is no substance to the light. The cat invests his whole focus and energy into trying to catch something which in the end had no substance, therefore making his determined purpose in his life futile and of no worth.
This is part of the futility of the unrenewed mind, of someone living in the world system- they chase and chase after a self-appointed future, they chase after status and wealth, they chase after the purposes which they received from the system of the world and took for themselves. However, at the end of all of their chasing, they find that the thing after which they so ardently chased had no substance.
This revelation was a big rock moment for me in my walk with God because I have to continue to recognise and realise the system from which God has saved me- if I do not, then I place myself in a dangerous position of becoming like Lot’s wife who turned back to Sodom and Gomorrah as it turned into salt and could become like a pillar of salt in life. I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit showing this to me in an instant with such a simple example how my life in school was- I was chasing after a self-appointed purpose which at the end of the day would have no substance and no purpose. I am grateful to God for taking me out of the system before I gave my whole life to Babylon and now I can freely give my whole life to God.
I can now catch real mice, so to speak, and not chase after a fleeting little red dot.
Another big rock moment that I had on this adventure began in a conversation in the car on a game drive in Manyeleti with Matt, Danny …. We began speaking about faith in terms of animals and how much authority does a believer have over the animals. However, it was in a session with Pastor John the next morning is the hanger that the Holy Spirit helped to to discover the root of the questions that I way asking in the car the day before.
Pastor John asked us to share things that we were experiencing on the trip, and before I spoke, he also mentioned the word established. The Holy Spirit then helped me to realise what was happening in my heart- many things about following God’s plan for my life was being established in my heart. My love for God was being established and my confidence and trust in God was being established.
A very practical answer to one of the questions that I had was established. The deep, deep question that I had in myself, which was always a confrontation in working in the ministry for me was that I really enjoy mathematics and science. Those two subjects are passions that I have in my life and bring me great joy when I have the opportunity to be taught more about them. So the big confrontation that I had about serving in the ministry was about how could I still do the things that I so enjoy, have a passion for and do well in the ministry? However, I knew that God was calling to be a part of this ministry. And on the adventure, the Holy Spirit settled me on this matter and the peace of God overcame me while we were having another conversation with Otto, Tina, Conrad and Nicola in the car on the way back to Witbank, where Conrad shared about how God made opportunities for him to operate in an engineering way with the auditorium build. This encouraged me and the Holy Spirit used it to minister to me that God will make a way for me to flow and function in the things that I enjoy, but in His order and in His way. God can make a way for me, even in the ministry where it may seem that mathematics and science has no outlet, for me to enjoy that. All that I have to do is give God my yes, which I have done, and He can create the perfect way for me to do the things which I enjoy while still serving Him. Actually, the Holy Spirit made it such a simple matter for me- like Abraham, I don’t know where I am going. I don’t have to try and work out in my mind how God can bring this about- I can just trust Him and remain faithful to Him and He is faithful to me. I can walk in the God purposes for my life and do not have to chase after a degree to be able to do the things that I enjoy. Praise God!
How all of this ties in with the conversation that I had with Matt in the car and then spoke about in the session with Pastor John in the hangar, is that because God has established certain things in my heart about following Him, and because I have said yes to God and continue everyday to say yes to God, I want to now know how far I can go in God. How deep can I go into the assignment that He has for me? Me asking about animals was not about the animals, but about how much authority can I now walk in as a believer? Where can my faith take me? How personal and intimate can I get with God? How real and present can I be with Him, my first Love? How much can I trust God? I am going all the way with God- I refuse to only half-heartedly give myself to Him and to the calling that He has placed on my life. I am now diving deep into my assignment, soaring higher than the clouds with God. I am rooted in Him and press as never before to experience His all consuming love for me. The zeal for my Father’s House is eating me up- I am being completely consumed by God, and by His love for me, and by my love for Him. Glory to Jesus!